The Life Teachings of Disney

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Hey guys, happy Tuesday!

First off, I want to say hello to all of the wonderful new followers that I have; I’ve gotten quite a bit in the last week or so and I wanted to say thanks to all of you. If you’re new to my blog, don’t worry, so am I! Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy your stay.

Today, we’re going to talk about one of my favourite things ever…Disney! Growing up with Disney movies in my life has transformed me into the person that I am today. It has really changed my outlook on the world and because I’m such a great person, I have decided that today, I am going to share this knowledge with all of you.

Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland taught me that it’s okay to be mad, because you’re here and everyone here is mad. It also taught me that flying, disappearing cats are quite normal, tea is acceptable at all times, there can never be enough pepper, babies can turn into pigs, always ask smoking caterpillars for advice, mushrooms can either make you tall or short, queens love beheading people, and most importantly, always follow a rabbit with a pocket watch.

Aladdin

Aladdin taught me that releasing a genie from a lamp is always in your best interest. In addition to that, when you steal apples, you randomly meet princesses, being angry at your father builds character, parrots are really snarky, Sultans are really short, no one questions seeing a flying carpet and finally having a monkey as your best friend is the best decision you could ever possibly make.

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast taught me that you should always let homeless people stay at your house (unless you want to turn into a beast at 14 years old), French candlesticks are really friendly, grandfather clocks are indecisive, having a teacup with a chip in it is socially acceptable, never give the time of day to an idiot who doesn’t read and is obsessed with hunting, most girls are stupid, your father can be as weird as you are and lastly enchantress’ roses are bogus.

Cinderella

Cinderella taught me that stepsisters are evil. Step mothers are evil-er. It is possible that fathers do not remember who you are for most of your life. It is okay to talk to birds and mice if they help you do your chores. Grandmothers are the greatest, hands down. Princes always want the pretty one and on their own are stupid, and of course beware of coaches that turn into pumpkins.

Mulan

Mulan taught me that Eddie Murphy can play anything and make it great. Your mother only wants to see you married. Horses can be mistaken for cows or sheep, you can totally beat a Hun with a fan, soldiers make great cross dressers, boys are icky, fathers will always love you if you fail, saving China allows you to hug the emperor without dying and grandmas make the best wing men.

101 Dalmatian

101 Dalmatian taught me that yes; I can have 101 dogs if I want. Dogs are better than people. Dogs can make life 100 times more fun. Anyone named Cruella is probably a bad person and ultimately, never leave food unattended.

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty taught me…nothing. Sleeping beauty was a waste of my time and I really don’t like that movie.

Snow White

Snow White taught me that if at first you don’t succeed at being the pretty one, the hired killing of your competition works well. It taught me to never eat the nice looking apples. Being a housewife/maid/thing can be really nice. Listen to your roommates. Wake up if you are kissed and you can become a princess by doing absolutely nothing of value.

The Lion King (1 and 2)

The Lion King taught me that even at the end of his career, Walt Disney can kick…butt. It taught me that crying at animated movies is totally okay to do, uncles are really mean, hyenas really do nothing wrong but listen to people, your mother can think you are your father and that’s okay. You really can have friends for life. Hakuna Matata is something to live by. Being a daddy’s girl rocks. Always date the person that your dad doesn’t like when mom is on your side. Singing is acceptable at random sad times in your life. Mottos can change and the most important lesson in the history of ever We are one.

So that’s it. As much as I can go on with this post forever, it’s already almost 1000 words long and I’m really tired. I hope you guys got as much of a kick out of reading this post as I did writing it. I’m giving a shout out to my friend Gabe, for coming up with this brilliant topic idea. I hope you guys enjoyed it, if you did, comment, like, subscribe and share. I love you guys! See you tomorrow.

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2 comments on “The Life Teachings of Disney

  1. This was great, especially Sleeping Beauty haha

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