Letting Go: The Beautiful Struggle

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Hello Beautiful People,

So this post might be a bit different than the usual banter that I indulge you all in. This weekend has been one of re connection and meeting new people, as well as one of goodbyes. Over the past few days, I’ve had the opportunity to connect with some old friends but at the same time, I’ve had to say some second farewells, which is always a different kind of adventure. Today, I wanted to talk to you guys about some of the processes that I’ve used to get through the weekend, as well as some of the things I’ve learned just from growing up in a family where a famous quote and a cup of tea can really make all the difference. So without further ado, let’s talk about life!

Some people are meant to take the entire journey with you, while others are there only to get you over a path.

Since I graduated high school, there have been several people, some that I would have considered friends at one point or another in my life that have disappeared without me having to look back. At the same time, there are others who, while I accepted the fact that they had gone, I still wondered what would have happened if they had stayed in my life. One of those people (who will remain nameless) I ran back in to a couple of days ago while I was hanging out with one of the friends that I just so happened to have kept around. At first, things were awkward, but after the (ab)normal “Hey’s how’s it going, what have you been up to” in addition to the “why did we stop seeing each other” the night seemed to transition to one of general fun. It wasn’t until the next day that I realized just how awkward things had been and how much we both had to force ourselves to be “normal” around each other. In talking with said person that next day, we actually realized that being around each other wasn’t as easy as it had once been and that it would be better if we had a clean separation from each other.

Juxtaposing that with two of my friends that I have known probably since we were in diapers, there was a period of time where we didn’t talk for maybe a year or so. Out of the blue, they were on my mind and I decided to send each one of them a text message. While the same amount of time had passed since I last spoke with those two friends and the old friend I saw again this week, there were two completely different reactions to our re connections. With the two friends I sent random messages to, it was like I had just seen them about a week ago. There was no awkwardness, there was no random pauses from lack of conversation. It was like no time had passed at all. Each one of these people are thriving. It turned out that we are all in the same positions in life when it comes to juggling school, work, relationships and dealing with family stuff and I realized just how much I had missed having those people in my life.

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but building the new.

While there are times (all the time) where I wish that  I could go back to a time where things were simpler, I’ve come to realize that dwelling on the past does nothing but clouds the good things that are happening right in front of you. Going to school when no one is making you, instead of watching TV all day, sometimes gets kind of old. Having to go to work when all you really want to do is sleep in for a little bit longer gets to be a pain every once in a while. Realizing that your parents can’t make decisions for you and that taxes are really a thing and not a nightmare that everyone talked about is borderline mental. No, my life isn’t that hard, but it’s harder than it used to be, I have a lot more responsibilities and no one to really keep me accountable for them. If I fail out of college, there is no summer school that my parents can send me to in order to help me move to the next level. Instead, the money that I shelled out to pay for those classes goes down the drain and I have nothing to show for it.

But let’s look at the bright side for a minute. I get to do what I love every day now. I’m writing, not just for a paycheck, but simply because I enjoy it. I have great friends and not those click-ish high school girls that cause drama every  30 seconds and then complain that they hate drama. I am able to eat what I want, when I want. Sure I have to pay for it, but if I want ice cream for breakfast AND dinner,  I can have that. If I want to stay up all night and watch movies instead of going to bed, I can do that. Will  I hate myself in the morning when I have to be at work at 4 a.m., sure, but no one is stopping me!

Growing up sucks and growing up rocks. What everyone’s got to learn is which bridges they want to cross and which they want to burn. I love my life right now and as much as I complain about…everything, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

With that being said, thank you guys for letting me get that off of my chest. If you enjoyed this post, be sure to “like” it. Share it with your friends and don’t forget to comment and subscribe to my blog to get the first updates to my endless ranting. Until next time, I love you all, have an awesome day!

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